Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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