Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize