i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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