I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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