We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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