Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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