just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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