the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
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He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
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Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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