bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
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I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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