fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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