I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
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He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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