No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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