i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize