I must be too annoying 4 u.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize