I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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