You're so nebulous sometimes
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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