yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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