That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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