Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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