So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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