That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize