wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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