I feel great
I just peed on a car
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So squirting runs in the family.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
pray to the hookup gods
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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