Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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