Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We're too hungover to prance.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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