just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
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He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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