I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize