To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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