champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The Olympian is in my bed
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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