Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize