i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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