We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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