you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize