someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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