HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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