I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize