I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize