They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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