I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
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I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
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I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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