Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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