Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
try to milk me bitch
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