Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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