i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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