is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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