we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize