Christians are straight up FREAKS
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
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have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
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Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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