There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize