I'll bet she douches with gravy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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