I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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