babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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